the NEEDED TRANSPARENCY

the NEEDED TRANSPERANCY:-

Do you remember Falling in love?

Do you remember the first time you saw her and right there and right then you felt the need to be with her? Or the first time he held your hand and you knew you never want to let go? The first time she smiled back at you and you felt alive. Or the first time he hugged you and in his arms was the safest you could ever be. Do you remember the time you couldn’t look into her eyes because they touched your heart and you couldn’t bare the anxiety? Or the time you wanted to beat him bad for not being careful while driving. Do you remember getting jealous?

Do you remember the time she closed her eyes for letting you kiss her? Or the time he kissed you on your forehead when you first closed your eyes to him? The time you cancelled all your plans just to see her once before she goes on a long trip? Or the time you sobbed all night just because he was away? Do you remember the times when your bed time stories were the future you saw with her? Or the times you called to wake him up early on the day of his exam. Do you remember waiting for long and yet not getting angry?

Do you remember…? ‘Falling in Love’?

What would you not give up to live all those moments once or once again?

Now, what if you never had all that? Or even worse, what if all that was taken away from you? What if you never had that one person in your life or what if that single person you couldn't live without was taken away from you? Wouldn't it hurt?

 Wouldn't it hurt to wait for a call you know you’d never get? To look in the mirror and not finding yourself? Wouldn't it hurt to remember all those times you patched up after a fight only to form a stronger bond? A bond you realise was still fragile.

Wouldn't it hurt to be alone under the night sky and wishing the sun would never come up? To experience the feeling of vacuum inside your heart? Wouldn't it hurt to wake up and wish things were different? And you weren't on your own.

Wouldn't it hurt…? ‘Losing your love’?

Let’s all ask ourselves… what would we rather prefer for our child or for our younger sister or brother? Finding love… or never really experiencing that feeling completely?

The stress rate in adolescents and teenagers is reaching peaks it never touched before. The youth is being affected like never before. Drug addictions… younger criminals… mental instability… lack of tolerance… signs of depression at such young age. All this, is ACTUALLY happening. If a relationship can give peace and love or maybe even a single smile on someone’s face, what is wrong about it?

Also, is this feeling of grief and agony and regret and disappointment due to heartbreak, milder than those caused by other reasons? Is being alone a better feeling than not having a good job? Is social numbness better than having to quit smoking? Is breaking up better than having a divorce?

I say NO! No, it isn’t.

Why relationships in teenagers are taken for granted? Why are breakups not talked about? How often do we see a teenager discussing relationship with her or his parents? How often do we witness frank suggestions given by parents on the issue of relationships?

Do we not see that keeping these issues untouched creates an impression of something being unethical… being wrong about them? Have we degraded the meaning of being in a relationship to only being physically indulged with someone?

We say we have to deal with bigger and more serious issues as we grow old. Issues, more disturbing than those faced by teenagers. But what we don’t see is that as we grow old, we get opportunities to become more mature, to gain experience and to observe. All this helps us dealing with those “bigger” issues. The problems that a teenager faces may seem to be childish to adults but really, are not light for them. They are going through that particular phase for the first time as do we all.

Also, the cases of unprotected sexual activities and unwanted pregnancies at younger ages are increasing. This needs to stop, doesn’t it? But how are we going to excel in this if we don’t even talk about it? TRANSPARENCY, in my opinion will aid the purpose. I do not think a girl would love to bare such pain and physical changes that come with pregnancy, at a very young age. I am also almost certain that a guy wouldn’t be willing to take up the responsibility of a child and an extension in his own family, at a very young age either. One participates in such activities mainly due to lack of exposure. If they realise that loving someone isn’t something to hide and it takes patience and maturity and trust and most importantly TIME for a relationship to go on, wouldn’t it be easier on us all? Isn’t it our job to make them realise this?

When a child gets a new toy, we teach her how to play with it don’t we? So that she doesn’t break it? Because if the toy breaks, it will hurt her won’t it? When the same child becomes a teenager and begins to fancy someone’s company why don’t we teach her how to handle her relationship? Being open about relationships will not only make things less complicated but it will also bring clarity about what is actually going on in her or his mind. That way she or he can be helped. The minimum age limit for getting married or being physically indulged may be fixed and fixed for the right reasons apparently. But there is no age for falling in love, is there?

Let us all from now on, create the Needed Transparency and start discussing all about teenage relationships to teach them and guide them how to be in, handle and respect a relationship.

-Akshat Vyas